Streamy Poem

Choked
Despotic I lay in lame,
silently subduing,
gorilla arms make barbells
on my throat, in my halls.

Details
swimming like the salmon,
but they are all dieing,
scales are falling off and the
rivers are way too low.

Pulsing
 intergalactic star light
feeding my insecurities
telling me whispering madness's
wincing at their truth beams before falling back to blackness


Can
I forgive the people who really judge me
vs not letting go of the hatred.
the only one who needs to accept
is the one voice in my head I can not control.

Control
always just missing
pressing the right buttons
once in awhile I get it just right
then I think about it too much

You
only one who brought me
edging on the precipice
makes me want to jump off
can you give me a reason?

Downth and outh

Diary Reboot 1

How the hell is anyone supposed to save for anything? I thought living out of my van would cut down on expenses by paying less rent but even with food banks I still end up paying a lot of money monthly toward eating out. I go on trips and spend 100$ and it's devastating to my account. I pay 160$ a month for car insurance, 65$ for a storage unit, and 37$ for a gym membership. My bi-monthly pay check is usually 650$. That's working full time at a kitchen. 1300$ a month. That's like a lease option on a car. Jesus this is so impossible! I can't make a savings Unless I live a monk lifestyle, which I could if I lived in an environment that made me feel conducive to living a spartan life. But going out with friends and socializing is one of the few ways to relieve stress after work. And it's fun! I mean, I would save like 300$ a month if I only ate what I cooked (a total pain in the ass) and never went out.

Just seems so out of reach sometimes. Meanwhile it's getting colder every night and sleeping in my van is getting uncomfortable. I'm really ready to leave. I have about 30 days left to make money and get out of Dodge. I can not wait to leave. So excited to travel again and go live somewhere warm and isolated.

Taxcode, Nafta, Net Neutrality. News update

Hello All, here's some headlines and updates on stories from the week in American News.

Healthcare/Tax Code

Senate Republicans seek to lift the Obamacare mandate that all citizens be insured. In a move to slash the tax plan down to the requisite budget increase of 1.5 trillion, which is necessary to pass a bill without the possibility of a senate Filibuster, the removal of the 300 billion dollars government spends on health care subsidies would lower the new tax plan below that threshold.
Speculation suggests that Passing such legislation could lead to the dismantling of the Affordable Care Act.
http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/senate-republicans-include-individual-mandate-repeal-tax-plan/story?id=51149346

Nafta or North American Free Trade Agreement

Negotiations between the three country members of the NAFTA agreement are once again struggling to pin down details on the agreements renewal. Some sticking points and their sectors include; Auto industry: America wants 85% of all auto's traded between nations to originate within the nations of Nafta. Meaning 85% of parts must be made and assembled in either Canada, USA, or Mexico.
Negotiations are in their 5th rounds of talk and are expected to continue through 2018.

Net Neutrality

A vote is expected to take place next month, involving the so called net neutrality laws that protect consumers from having their content and broadband speed affected by internet service providers. With the public comment portion of the review over, the FCC is expected to vote in December on whether or not to keep the Obama era rules in place. The current 5 member FCC board is majority republican.

Poetry to news articles #1

Here's a new thing Im trying, Snap poetry to news articles I find compelling and important.

https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/11/10/563286253/mysterious-radioactive-cloud-over-europe-hints-at-accident-farther-east?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=npr&utm_term=nprnews&utm_content=2038

Still lurking underneath,

the monster is unleashed by your hand,

if all that lay beneath your feet,

were ever cast like dust in sand,

the world itself would cough and wheeze,

dust and ash and cough and sneeze

A world in sickness would last three days,

the doctor says to me.

You'll want to shudder the rough cough

cast the phlegm blob,

and cleanse your skin with volcano salts.

https://motherboard.vice.com/en_us/article/qkjnvw/kids-win-the-right-to-sue-the-us-government-over-climate-change?utm_source=vicefbus

Descent into the wormhole you

blade forged in a young adults novel

can the who is be be the we can who

pride so full of the people

I found them last year in the lost times

pink youthful mouths

decrying the status

sharp bugle sounds

this is our rally

http://www.newsweek.com/syria-assad-worst-war-over-isis-defeat-620332
(Old article)

Who was it that we were so for and,

in war what does it take not to be massacred by

the winning side?
Is it best to let it rest the facts of what was happened,

and let the public be mislead and the rest of it forgotten

O Syria, O Arab Spring, O reasons,

Please let all who fought the wall,

go home and be forgotten.

The most Expensive thing I never remembered

I was flying down the dirt road, my teeth chattering. In front of me i could hear the laughter of care-free festival goers. They were unknown compatriots, people just trying to help a guy as best as they thought they could. The dirt was left curling behind the car wheels, and even though i didn't check, I'm sure my bike was leaving it's own miniature dust trail behind us. Between the bike at the car was a narrow space- maybe 4 feet at the most. A long paracord line connected my bike handle bars to the shotgun side view mirror.
       "HEY!" I ask in staccato rhythm to the bumping ground.
"How fast are we going?"
      You may have asked yourself how did I get in this position? As much as I've thought about the answer, I still can't give myself a definitive one. Panic was a big reason, and being embarrassed too. As it turns out trying to hide an embarrassing thing usually ends with something even more embarrassing happening, along with the original secret you were trying to keep. Every stupid mistake will continue along it's path, until something strategic comes to mind to course correct.
     "Uhh, 28 miles-per-hour!". Not a reassuring number.
"Arf-Arf!" I bark out our established safety word, one arf for good, two arf's for bad.
     "I don't think this bike's tires can handle anything faster". A few more seconds as i watch the spokes whizz, their silver lines a blurring optical illusion, i'm looking for a pothole or pit that will be the utter doom of my band-aid bicycle solution. Like a black bag over a face, my vision goes dark and I'am utterly unconscious.
       
In America the easiest way to go from having a balanced bank account to falling into incredible debt is by going to the hospital.
 More than chronic illness or condition, people go into medical debt from one time, unpredictable visits to the hospital. This can be for a multitude of reasons. Many people who report medical debt are 'the insured' but their insurance didn't cover enough of their expenses, and what was left over was made into debt. Other people suffer from accidents that require special ambulatory services, and still others were insured but not in the right way. For instance, Life-Flight services take their own type of insurance. While not very expensive, (A year long policy might cost 65$) not having the insurance can be life changing.
        When I got into my accident at Eclipse Oregon I wasn't conscious enough to decide what was going to happen. I remember being warned that the lines into the Fest were going to be long, winding down a one way dirt road with no way out. I never thought those circumstances would sign me up for what would be the most expensive bill of my life. A lot of Med-flights cost around $35,000, compared against a 65$ yearly fee it seems like, once you know you're going on an isolated adventure then its best to get some. But then again maybe that's what these companies want all of us to think? Why else would the disparity between a yearly fee and a massive one time bill be so great? Most of these bills ended up being so huge, because it's expected that people will fight the cost. Like with other bills (generally medical) you can get a lot of the cost reduced. But industry understands this, so it's factored into the cost. Lots of people can argue a $35,000 bill down to $25,000. And still you can argue that your health insurance provider is supposed to cover medical transport (generally not specified), and have them cover say, another $10,000. Still, a $15,000 one time helicopter ride sits as a huge expense for any person.
        I'm glad that I was taken to a hospital and treated for some severe injuries. Who wouldn't be? I'm grateful for all the medical staff, the doctors and the nurses, and all the transport staff, from the helicopter pilot to the Taxi Cab who drove me back to the festival. But, I had a broken arm and a concussion. Arguably, these are not 'life threatening' injuries. Arguably, if I had been conscious and allowed to make a choice, I may found some other way to the hospital. Definitely, If I had looked into a crystal ball and seen the cost of the Medi-cab, I would have scrambled for any other option. But in all likely-hood, there really was no other option for me. Circumstance and destiny lent a heavy hand, one that can not be mitigated. My advice to you is, See if medicab insurance is right for your Situation.

Love

Arstin Viggin
   

Post 2. blast from the past/ retrospect / what was i going through

Dear Blog,

I'am writing to you from the distant future. Here, in this unpredictable place, in this unkowing place, in this fine place, is a spot to land your bi-plane.

There, on the desert beach where you landed your Saharan coloured plane down,

are the cool gentle waters where blue green reign supreme,

and there are very few things to worry about.

Where you are is your present, My past.

In that time space was a whole other worry set,...

A whole other situation paradigm...

Had to think on your feet.

And describe it.

Let's take a look at what was going on as things led up to where I'am.


Hey, basically, there was too much sensitive material, it turns out I'm not ready to divulge my personal journals yet in online audience spree so I took this one down. i'll be revisiting this post.

(here are some poems from Chicago)

1. Tall black ceiling,

with a charred texture,

like the burned bark of the redwoods;

I ask for sex with my eyes but,

no replies.

2. The temple turns rose in the evening sun,
   they used a white stone, to show trust in
   It's choice, of colours.
   Inside, I ask for humility,
   while the eyes of someones friendly daughter,
   stare me up and down.
3. Hunger has many doors.
   With each mouth clamoring, lip smacking,
   and then, falling silent.

Love APW

Bahai temple of Chicago

At the Elephant seal observation beach

Post 1. Back to basically nothing

Dear Dearies,

I sit in the fabulous café, where people come.

There are the entrepreneurs who sit together, with their laptops and writing tablets, in two's and three's, discussing plans and idea's, off the clock, unpaid creative time. They often drink plain coffee and tea. They pass the computer back and forth.

There are the young women sitting at the table, they drink the bottomless mimosas special. They lounge on the comfy seats, talking and chatting. They don't move much, they don't drink too fast. They are cute.

There are the solo artists, one guy who's trying to code but can't get off facebook. The young Japanese girl who goes to college, she drinks a small saucer of latte. Her head phones are in, she acts like I do, with the eyes set forward on the screen.

There are the breakfast only folks, who sit at the bar with iced coffee's. They are serious business, lovers maybe, or close friends. He grabs her left overs in the carry away box. She pats his bum and they walk out.

                       I'am in the Saint Luis Obispo. It is a quaint, valley city. The girls dress in the most incredible ways. Lots of cut halters with the lacy bra's showing. Short short jeans. College styled fashionista's. The men are tall and strong, some with a very country style background. Boys who stand 6-6 1/2 feet tall, big arms. Others are shorter, with beards and glasses. There are fewer piercings

on the men; women have septum rings. The mountains surrounding the city are cringing with erupted beauty. Blotches of orange poppy continents can be seen from far away. If I ever have a child, with the acne sensitivity, I will say to them "Look up ther, in the mountains. Their faces are blotchy with poppy, sunflowers, and goldenrod. Orange, red, purple, like your face is, but we do not call these things ugly. The flowers come with the spring, fecund and fertile notions. We call them beautiful, just like you my child.

How do I like this now, being on my own traveling.. The loneliness is not so severe, making friends is simple. What is hard is the usual. Sex, money, these are the worrisome dreams I have when I'm sleeping in my car. The world is beautiful and as long as I take care of myself, exercise, love, good food, then I can get through it. Looking for work, hoping to find a farm where I can buckle down and become myself. All the people of my generation seem to be doing it. I miss making women purr. I miss easy nights on a mattress. I miss my close friends.

Peace on earth. may the names of all the gods be heard because they are ringing in the bells of vibration all around us.